11-16-08 Next Steps: Fear

It is reported that the newspaper counselor, Ann Landers, received an average of 10,000 letters each month, and nearly all of them from people burdened with problems. She was asked if there was any one of theme that dominates the letters she receives. Her reply was the one problem above all others seems to be fear. People are afraid of losing their health, their wealth, their loved ones. People are afraid of life itself.

 

The first time I remember being afraid was when my dad took me to see the movie Jaws. You know, the movie that has this huge great white killer shark that was chasing and one by one eating these teenage kids on their father’s boat. I remember that I was scared to death of the water for a long, long time.

 

Even thought we rarely say that we are afraid, we are regularly afraid. Fear is woven into the fabric of our lives, and often times we are not even aware that we are fearful. So this morning we are going to be talking about fear.

 

1 John 4:18 (NRSV) 

 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.

 

So, just in case I get a little too A.D.D this morning we are going to be oscillating between two words and two ways of life. The first one is love and the second one is fear. You may not know it, but they are deeply related.

 

I have found both in my life and the lives of others that I counsel that fear is the number one thing that we deal with. Recently I have become more aware of what I call low grade fear, which is anxiety and stress. Does anybody have any stress or anxiety in their lives? I’ve thought that my neck problems were something that were related to being in an electrician for 20 years, but what I have found is that my neck problems were not a result of anything that I’ve done, but rather from low grade stress, anxiety, and fear that I have in my life. My neck pain has been caused because all the muscles in my neck get so tight that they hurt. All this physical pain because of fear undetected.

 

John tells us that there is no fear in love. One of my greatest fears is the fear of rejection because there was no love in my relationship with my father. In my whole life, my father has never shown me any love, and because of this, I have always feared rejection, because at one of the most foundational needs in a person’s life is the need for love from their parents and other influential people in their lives and without it, there will always fear. For me it’s always been the fear of rejection.

In the absence of love people fear

 

What do you think that people fear the most? A Times survey found that 41% of the more than 3000 respondents listed “fear of public speaking” as their number one fear, while only 19% listed “death” as their number one fear. Why do you think this is?

 

Why is it that people fear public speaking more than anything else? It’s because we fear rejection. We fear what other people will think of us. We fear what other people will say. We fear what other people will do. We fear being hurt. We fear being hurt again. In the absence of love people fear

 

When I began to give talks like this one in my church I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if I had time to prepare, but when I got up in front, I found that I couldn’t breath, and my mouth was so dry I couldn’t get a word out. I stuttered. Then my stomach filled full of butterflies that seemed to be flying combat maneuvers complete with rocket launchers and grenades. It was awful! When I thought that things couldn’t get much worse they did. My legs joined in the act. They began to shake at the ankle, and so I did the stiff leg approach in order to control the shaking, but then the shaking came up further and got into both of my legs and I began to resemble a washing machine that was violently out of balance. It was one of the most horrific events of my life; my body had never acted that way before. If I could have stepped outside of myself, I’m not sure I would have recognized who I was. Has anybody here had anything like this happen to them? Why do our bodies react that way? “It’s because I was afraid”, but why was I afraid? Yeah, I was afraid of how people might perceive me. I was fearful of my own worth in that group and how that might diminish if I did not perform well.

 

In the absence of love people fear

 

People are afraid of many things, fear of failure, fear of insignificance, fear of rejection, and fear of being alone just to name a few.

 

As Americans the fear of terrorists has gripped our country in the past seven years. Why do we fear terrorism? We fear for our safety. We fear people controlling our lives. We fear people taking our lives from us. We fear for our freedom, and for our right to pursue happiness. We fear evil. In terrorism, there is no love and so we are only left with fear.

 

Perfect love drives out fear. In the original language, John uses the Greek word “agape” to describe the kind of love that he is referring to and agape love is love that seeks to build another person up, not tear them down. Agape love seeks to accept people for who they are. It does not judge. Agape love seeks to encourage, care, and serve others so that they can become more and more the person that God created them to be.

 

I believe that people fear the church more than any other organization in the U.S. Alright, maybe some fear the IRS more than they fear the church, but it’s close? But why do you think people fear the church? They fear being judged. They fear being looked down upon. Jesus said, Do not judge”, and the reason that he taught this was because . In the absence of love people fear.

 

Christians are often times self?righteous. I hear a sermon or read my Bible and I begin to know what God commands and so when I see someone doing something to the contrary of what I know to be right, I’m filled with this tension inside of me, this tension of right and wrong ? this tension that things are not the way they’re supposed to be. And though I barely know the person, and though I have never shown that person love, or maybe showed them shallow kinds of care, I go over and I tell them what they’ve done wrong. But all that person hears from me is “you’re not good enough”. They’ve heard it before most likely from other people around them. They hear me saying. “you’re messed up”. They hear “I’m better than you”. I’m sure most of you have had people say things like this to you. How does it make you feel? Yeah, Rejected, hurt, unloved, not wanted, or just plain bad.

 

When we sense fear, our preservation mechanism kicks in. Many of you may know it by the name Fight or flight syndrome. When we are in a place of fear, we cannot love. This leads to broken relationships. This is contrary to what Jesus was about. Jesus was about restoring relationships.

 

Jesus tells us to love one another because perfect love drives out fear. When people feel loved they begin to hear the words “you’re good”. When I tell people something about themselves that isn’t quite right, all they hear is, “your broken”, “you’re not right”, “your stupid”, “You’re not valuable”. Until people understand that I love them and that I’m on their side – that I’m fighting for them and not against them, they cannot feel anything but fear, because they have been hurt by too many people already. Perfect love drives out fear. Love drives out fear.

 

In the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God tells Adam and Eve who they are and what they’re to do. He tells them only one thing that they cannot do. The one thing that Adam and Eve are told they can’t do it to eat of the tree in the center of the garden. They are given all the other trees to eat from, but they cannot eat from that tree or they will die.

 

But at some point, Adam and Eve decide that they know better than God – probably not consciously, but certainly unconsciously. They decide that they are going to take matters into their own hands. They decide that they’re not going to trust God to be God, but instead they are going to become the god of their lives.

 

There are only two choices in this matter, you know? Either you or I can trust God to be God in our lives, or we else we become the god of our lives. We either trust God to control our lives, or we take control of our lives and become our own god.

 

As soon as Adam and Eve decide that they’re not going to listen to God any longer and do things their own way – as soon as they eat the apple, something very interesting happens. They become afraid. They fear. Immediately they hide themselves behind leaves and when God calls they hide from him.

 

All of life boils down to this idea. We can either fear God and fear those around us like Adam and Eve did, or we can take God’s advice that was given as the greatest two commandments in all the Bible which is to love God with all that we are and to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. That’s it. Ok, so how does fear fit into this?

 

Here’s the bottom line. Fear controls us; it shapes who we are and how we act. The Bible tells us that we are to fear only God. When we turn our hearts toward God all of our fears are consumed by one fear. We are called to fear only God. There is an important reason for this. What we fear is what we’re subject to; what we fear is what controls us; our fears define our master.

 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. Psalm 111:10    Because when we fear God, and only God, it is only God that controls us.

But there seems to be a conflict in the Bible about fear as it relates to God. There are many verses that tell us to “Fear the Lord. But then there are also many occurrences where God reveals himself to different people in the Bible and when they see him, they’re first reaction is always one of fear. They’re afraid when they see the glory of God, but God or a messenger from God always responds to them in the same way; “Do not be afraid.”

Since we’re drawing close to the Christmas season, let’s look at some Christmas stories:

Then there appeared to him an angel of the Lord, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified; and fear overwhelmed him. But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid . . . Luke 1:11-13 (NRSV)

Mary was greatly troubled at his (The angels) words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. Luke 1:29-31 (NIV)

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they (The shepherds) were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see-I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: Luke 2:8-10 (NRSV)

Why does God tell people to fear him, but then he turns around and says, “Do not be afraid”. Could the Bible be wrong?

 

I see the connection in parenting.

 

My kids love me. They also fear me. I discipline my children, so that they might learn the difference between right and wrong. When I become the disciplinarian, they fear me.

 

John says, “Fear has to do with punishment“ 1 John 4:18 (NRSV)

 

Before or after I discipline our kids, I try to share with them why I disciplined them and I always try and bring it back to my love for them. I don’t want my kids to live life in fear, quaking in their boots every time I come close to them. Instead, I want them to be close to me and I want our relationship to be one of love. The older that my girls get, they fear me less and love me more. It is my hope that when my girls are fully grown that they will love freely without fear. Growing up is growing out of fear and into love. John says,

 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 1 John 4:18 (NRSV)

 

When we fear God and only God, we are no longer bound by all the other fears that would hold us captive. The fear of death, the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of insignificance – all of the fears that know us by name and haunt us in the dark of the night become powerless when we know the fear of the Lord, and if this is not enough, John tells us that, “perfect love cast out all fear.” Not even God will hold us or control us by fear. When we fear him, we in essence begin to live a life where we are fearless.

 

There is an old saying that says, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself,” The saying is true. Fear hides the very essence of who God created us to be. In the Garden Adam and Eve hid from God and each other out of fear. Sin = fear. Where there is sin in our lives, there is fear. Where there is fear in my life, I am being controlled by other gods.

 

My neck problems are a direct result of fear being in my life. When I was rejected by my father, I tried to be good enough, so that he might accept me.  This led me to be a perfectionist. A perfectionist is controlling by nature. They have to control and manipulate their world in order to have it in perfect order.

 

If you’ve been around me very much, you know that I struggle with control issues. Control is a sin in my life that is directly related to my fear in life. I’m trying to get rid of it, and I’ve succeeded in getting rid of a lot of it, but some still lurks there.  I try to control my life – my world, but ultimately I can’t. I was not meant to control my world. God was meant to control my world. When I can’t control my world, my world gets out of control, and stress and anxiety are born, because I’m trying to control something that I can’t control, nor will I ever be able to control. Why do I have fear, anxiety and stress? Because I’m trying to control my world, instead of letting God control my world. And when I do this, the stress, anxiety – fear really -they take away my peace. They rob me of my joy.

 

Perfect love drives out fear.

 

Right after Jesus raised from the dead, his disciples were locked in a room scared to death. The reason they were scared to death was because Jesus had been crucified and they were his disciples and they feared that they would come and try to crucify them as well. So they’re in this upper room with the door locked, very much afraid.

 

All of a sudden, Jesus walks through the locked door and the disciples are terrified. And Jesus makes a switch on words. He doesn’t say, Do not be afraid, but instead, he says, “Peace be with you”.

 

Jesus was called the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). Why? Because he came to show us how to love and to help us receive the love of God. As we seek to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength – as God invades are hearts, he drives out all that is contrary to him and his Spirit, and as he drives out the fear with his love, only peace remains.

 

The call of God on our lives confronts us with all that we love and all that we fear. When we resist love to avoid pain and hurt, we resist who God created us to be. God calls us to find love in him, and then he calls us to imitate him and give love away. We are created to come alongside of God and be his instruments in driving out fear through loving out neighbor as our self, because we are not created to live in fear. Fear robs us of our peace; it robs us of our joy; it robs us of who we were created to be.

 

God came to the earth in the person of Jesus to show us his perfect love. Loving us so much that he willingly died so that all of humanity could live. He died so that we could live in love and not in fear. Fear is the result of sin. When we feel fear we are feeling the effects of sin ? not necessarily our sin, but also the sin that has been given to us. I fear rejection, because of the lack of love that was given to me by my Father. As I’ve studied my Father’s history, I realize that he was unable to love me because of the awful lack of love that was given to him by his family.

As we receive God’s perfect love, we are called to “Go into all the nations” and share the perfect love that God has given to us. We are called to cast out fear in the world and restore the love that God created each person for.

 

Here at New Community, we are a group of people who are journeying together through life striving to know more and more about who God is and who we were created to be. Our Mission is to love God and to love each other. Our plan is heaven on earth, and our work is “practicing for eternity.” In heaven, there is no such thing as fear, so God calls us to participate in his mission, which is to drive out anything that conflicts with the plan of heaven on earth. John tells us the way to do that is by striving to perfect our love for God and one another.  We invite you to participate with us in this work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Link:

 

1.   Name something that you hate to do?

2.   What do you fear most, being rejected, being alone, being insignificant, or the fear of being a failure? Why do you think that you fear it?

3.   Fear controls us. How does your fear control you?

4.   How does perfect love drive out fear?

1. How can love from the people in this group drive out your fear?
2. How can love from the people of New Community help others to find freedom and healing from their fears?

 

Remember that the group time should not always be fully devoted to the word portion of the group – focus on Witness, Worship, and prayer for the group in general.