9-20-09 Series: Principle of the Path #1 – Destinations

 

Let’s begin by taking a little survey. How many of you, like me, sometimes have trouble with directions. If you get have trouble with directions, and maybe get lost a lot, will you raise your hand with me. If you’re with a spouse right now, one of you probably has their hand raised and the other one doesn’t, because God often times pairs us with our counterpart. I have a direction deficiency, but my wife doesn’t. If you’re dating, you need to ask the question are you lost or not lost because I don’t believe God would put to lost people together. . . I don’t think?

 

Me, I get lost in Crossroads Mall. I have a backwards direction gene in me, because I will walk into a store and I will walk back out and I’ll think that I am walking out in the same direction that I was going  when I went in, but it doesn’t happen that way. I mean, I’ll swear that I’m going in the right direction, but then I see the stores that I’ve already seen, and I’ll say to myself, wow, that’s really weird, I’ve never seen a mall with two J.C. Penny’s stores in the same mall. It’s true! I get lost in the mall.

 

Now, I want all of you who don’t get lost, or don’t get lost very easily, that those of us who do get lost easily – we don’t do it on purpose. I think that you think that we just don’t pay attention. But we try. We really try, but we’re just not very good at it.

 

I feel at home in the woods, because I can read a compass. I feel good on the road with a map in front of me because I can read a map and know where I’m going, but ask me to rely on my internal road map and compass is not a safe thing for me.

 

Another thing that you need to know about us lost people is that you never know you’re lost when you’re getting lost. You don’t know when you’re getting lost. You just know when you’re lost. Isn’t that weird. I don’t know where the line is. I can’t just say “Opps” I’m lost, I’ll back up a 100 feet and I’ll be found and now I know where I am. By the time you know you’re lost, you’ve been lost a long time. Isn’t that true? You don’t really know when you got lost.

 

And guys, we drive with confidence when we’re lost, because we don’t know we’re lost yet, because there’s not a line that you cross, but rather a direction that you are going that made you lost.

 

The last principal that we need to know about being lost is that whatever road you’re on determines your destination. That was pretty deep wasn’t it? Whatever path or whatever road you and I are on determines where we are going to go. It’s not enough that we want to go somewhere; it’s not enough to think this road takes me to where I want to go. The road or the path determines your destination. You’ve noticed that, right?

 

Now I’m guessing that none of you have written any of this stuff down. Nobody has thought to themselves, wow, I wish I had known that 20 years ago, because everything that I’ve stated so far is something that we intuitively know. We just know it. So you might ask me, “Why are we going to spend the next 4 weeks talking about these things?” That’s a good question.

 

But as obvious as this seems to us in the world of geography, when it comes to the rest of our lives – whether it’s our financial lives, our dating lives, our married lives, the way we raise our kids, our education, our job, whatever it might be, this same principle applies. I call it the principle of the path. The path principle says this: Your direction determines your destination. Your direction determines your destination. And in the world of driving or hiking we know that principle to be absolute.

 

Direction, not intention, determines your destination. If you were to load up all your luggage and your sunscreen and get on 131 and go North, you’ll never get to Florida. You’ve packed for it, you purchased your hotel – right on the beach, big pool, you got maps from your travel agent, you’ve planned your itinerary – what your going to do when you’re there, you say a little prayer before you leave your driveway, “God, thank you for this vacation, please be with us and keep us safe on our trip, amen.” . You can do all that stuff, but if you get on 131 and go North, you won’t ever get to your vacation destination, will you? NO! We know this!

 

This is so interesting, because we know that in the world of hiking and driving, but when it comes to the other arenas in life, there is a total disconnect when it comes to this principle. The principle of the path applies to your financial path, if you’re married, it applies to your marriage path, it applies to your dating path if you’re into the whole dating thing, it’s true for your health and for your occupation – it’s true for all of these things, but for many there is a total disconnect between what I want and the direction that I’m going in life.

 

Your direction, not your intention, not your hopes, not your dreams, not your prayers, not your belief, but your direction ultimately determines your destination. Throughout our lives we are all victims or participants with the principle of the path.

 

So we’re going to be talking about the principle of the path for the next 4 weeks, because I continue to see a huge disconnect with people in where they want to end up and the path they’ve chosen. Over and over I talk to people whose marriage blew up and their finances crashed and burned, and as they tell the story, and you’ve heard friends of yours tell the story, and they’re so broken hearted, and as they tell their story about the path and as they were talking you may have thought, “Well what did you expect.”

 

It’s because there’s a contrast between my hopes and my dreams, which were this way, but the path that I took went the other way. I ended up right where that path took me and I’m so broken hearted and I’m so angry at God for allowing this to happen to me.

 

We tend to think that hopes and dreams will somehow trump the decisions that we make on a daily basis. The principle of the path triumphs our hopes and dreams and intentions every single time. The directions that we choose determines our destination.

 

In order to make this a little bit clearer, hopefully, I want to go to an interesting story in scripture about a very specific path. We are going to be talking about lots of different paths, but this path is a very specific path.

 

The story is in Proverbs chapter 7. Proverbs was written by the wisest man of all time, Solomon. And he narrates this story as he’s looking out a window presumably in his palace. He’s standing at a window, looking out, and he sees a guy walking on the street, and he realizes, as he’s watching what this guys path is, and he knows the outcome of this guy’s journey, but this guy doesn’t have a clue.

 

This happens all the time to us. You may be at an intersection and you see a car pull out in front of another one and for a brief second, you can tell what’s going to happen before it happens. Or you see a toddler grabbing for that cup on the table that you thought it was far enough back, but now you can tell they’ve grown, and you know what’s going to happened even before that toddler grabs the edge of that cup and you go, AHHHHHHHH and SMASHHHHH! For a moment you were like God, being able to see the future of what was going to happen. All of us at times in our lives are able to see the path that something or someone is on and we can for a brief time, predict what’s going on. Because intuitively we understand a bit of the principle of the path.

 

Ok, we’ll begin at Proverbs 7:6 At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.

 

As adults, we all know that youth’s lack judgment, don’t we? We lacked judgment when we were youths – didn’t know it then, but we sure see it now. And the reason why youths lack judgment is not because they are bad or anything, but judgment requires time and experience. The reason parents come down on their kids is because they have perspective that the kids don’t have. You as a kid may think something like, “I may lack judgment, but look what you’re wearing! So don’t tell me you have judgment!” So Solomon sees this man who lacks judgment walking down the street – verse 8

 

He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.

 

Now, you don’t have to be a Bible scholar to anticipate where this story is going, do you? You don’t even have to have read this story before. Here’s this kid, the sun is going down and he’s walking toward this woman’s house, and as we’ll discover in just a minute, he knows exactly who she is. And as he’s walking to her house there’s a sound track going on in his head like Born To Be Wild, or Party Like a Rock Star or something like that, depending on what generation he’s from.

 

Meanwhile, Solomon is watching this whole thing go down and there’s a soundtrack going on in his mind and it the music of Jaws. There’s a huge contrast between what this kid thinks he’s experiencing and what’s really going on. The reason there’s a contrast between the kid’s perspective and Solomon’s perspective is because Solomon knows the principle of the path. The kid thinks it’s going to be an exciting event. The older wiser man says, “No”, it’s not an event, it’s a path, and every path has a destination, and this is a path with a very predictable destination.

 

The story continues, verse 10.

 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute, though not a prostitute, and with crafty intent. ¹¹ (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; ¹² now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) ¹³ She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: ¹⁴ “I have fellowship offerings at home; This doesn’t mean anything to us, but basically she’s saying, “I gave my offering. I’ve paid for my penance.” Then she goes on and says, today I fulfilled my vows – and again this doesn’t mean anything to us, but what she’s saying is that I’ve gone to the temple and I dumped all my sins out on the alter and I made a sacrifice and all my sins are gone, so I have an empty bucket and I am ready to fill it up again with you.” – that’s what she’s saying.

 

¹⁵ So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! He’s thinking “Dude, She came out her just for me. I’m so special. I’m the man of her dreams. This is the stuff that stories are made of, and I can’t wait to tell my friends. She came out here looking for me.

 

Verse 16  I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. ¹⁷ I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. ¹⁸ Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! He’s thinking, am I dreaming! This is like my wildest dream!¹⁹ My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. Which means you don’t have to worry about getting caught. You don’t have to rush out in the morning. We can just take our time! ²⁰ He took his purse – That used to throw me off, maybe this is why they’re having this issue in their marriage – he took his (man-bag) purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.” ²¹ With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. ²² All at once he followed her . . . and he’s thinking that he’s like a rock star or a professional athlete. He feels like a celebrity where all the women want to be with him. This is like his wildest dream come true. In his mind, he’s thinking that he will remember this event all the days of his life because it is so good.

 

All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter – no no no, like a celebrity going to a club – like a deer stepping into a noose ²³ till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. NO, NO, NO, that’s not the soundtrack that I’m listening to. I’m listening to I want to be a rock start soundtrack, not jaws – how can the two be so different? You’re like my dad up there in the window. You’re like my mom up there in the window. Come on, you gotta live a little. You’ve gotta sow some wild oats. This is what it’s like to be a man. This is just a date – it’s a one night stand. No it’s not, it’s a path. It’s just an event. No, it’s not, it’s a path.

 

You’re focused on what you’re doing. I’m up here focused on where you’re heading. You’re focused on the here and now, I’m focused on tomorrow. Two very different views on the same scene that’s unfolding. All the men are going, Yeah! And all the women are going, She’s disgusting! Don’t judge too quick and don’t take yourselves out of the equation too quick, because there’s a huge lesson to be learned here.

 

Solomon then pulls out of that scene and he begins to address you and me. He says, ²⁴ Now then, my sons, listen to me; (Then he repeats himself for emphasis) pay attention to what I say. ²⁵ Do not let your heart (we’ll come back to that) turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Paths??? I just went to her house. This is just an event. ²⁶ Many are the victims she has brought down; Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but this is not a unique situation. You may say to yourself, I have never felt this way before, but a lot of other guys have. You may think to yourself, but it’s me an her and this is very special, we’re like soul mates, it’s a one of a kind sort of thing and Solomon is up there saying, “NOOOOOPE.” This is so common. This is a path. This is so predictable that it’s laughable, and you’ve been deceived into thinking that this is some kind of unique experience just for you. He repeats the idea.

 

²⁶Her slain are a mighty throng. Many people have done this same thing, not with her, but this scenario has happened over and over and over again, and this path that you’re on is so predictable that I can say with confidence that you are like an ox to the slaughter. How can you say that, that’s being judgmental. I’m not being judgmental; it’s just predictable. It’s a path with a destination.

 

²⁷ Her house is a highway to the grave (it’s like a 5 lane highway in Chicago and it leads somewhere and it’s predictable), leading down to the chambers of death.

 

Now, when I first started reading this story, many of you knew exactly where it was going. Why is that? It’s because we know how the story ends when it’s someone else, don’t we.

 

If you’ve ever been to a good counselor, and you’ve told them about half your story, they interrupted and said, “And I’ll bet when that happened you felt . . .” And you respond, “Yes, I did”. And I’ll bet when your husband or your girlfriend or your boyfriend, when they found out they said …. And you respond, “Yes, you’re so smart.” And they think to themselves, “I’m not that smart, I’ve just heart that story 10 zillion times. You’re just like that last person that left here that paid me $100. It’s so predictable because it’s a path. It’s a road and it always leads to the same place.

 

This is the point that I want to make this first week. As Christ followers, we cannot continue to live with the disconnect that our culture understands, the disconnect that says, as long as my intentions are good, and as long as my intentions are positive, and as long as I want to end up somewhere good, it doesn’t matter what road I take. Because at the end of the day, the path that you’re on trumps every good intention, and every good idea that you have. This kid thought everything was going to be good, but the wise man said, No it’s not.” You’re not a celebrity or a rock star, you’re an ox being led to the slaughter.

 

I made a list to get you thinking about the disconnects that may be in your life.

 

I want to end up with a great Christian guy whose really got his act together – that’s her intention, so I’m going to go out with whoever asks me out, if they’re cute. I have this idea about what kind of guy that I want to marry, but what I’m actually doing is that I’ll go out with anyone that’s attractive. And I think that by going out with guys that are cute will somehow lead me to that destination. The path trumps the intention.

 

How about this one. I want our family to be a unit – taking vacations together, being tight and close knit, doing things together, and one day my kids will have kids and we’ll all enjoy spending time together, so I’m going to work all the time . . . either at your job or maybe even in your home. I’m going to be a workaholic, but my intention is that we’re going to be a great family. The path trumps the intention, because direction determines destination.

 

I want my kids to respect me. When my kids get out on there own, I want them to come to me for advise, and I want all of there kids to come to me for advice. You know, I want to be known as the wise statesman of our family, so I’m going to fool around on their mom. What? That’s not going to lead to respect. I know, but that’s the path that I’ve chosen. And then when they get old, they come in and say, Adam, I don’t know why my kid’s don’t respect me. I don’t understand why my kid’s won’t call me. Adam, I don’t know why my kid’s don’t come over. What happened Adam? Well, I’m not all that smart, but you walked down a path and that path leads to a destination. And guys, that’s where that path goes every time. It’s not even the same odds as Russian roulette.

 

You think you will be an exception. You won’t be, because it’s a path. It’s a highway to the grave, and it doesn’t matter how smart you are or how wealthy you are, if you get on I-94 and go East you will not get to Chicago.

 

I want to grow old and spend time with my grandchildren, so I’m going to neglect my health.

 

I want to lose weight. I want to be thin, so super size that.

 

I want to be close to God. I know some people who are close to God and I want to be like them, so I’m going to get up every morning and read the newspaper.

 

When I get married, I want to have a great sex life. I want that part of my marriage to be really intimate, so I’m going to practice with everyone that I date. I want you to know that if you survey people in their 50’s, you will not find anyone who will say, the path to finding a great marriage or having great sex in marriage is the result of sleeping with everyone on our way to getting married. It just doesn’t happen. Why? Because sleeping together with everyone you date is a path with a very specific and predetermined destination, and it isn’t the way to great sex or a great marriage, but in our culture nobody says that.

 

How about this one? I want a great relationship with my husband, so I’m going to prioritize the kids over my husband. You can have all these great ideas, dreams, and intentions for your marriage, but in the mean time, you just prioritize your relationship with your kids and your husband gets leftovers. It’s a path and it leads to somewhere specific, and you can’t trump it with your prayers or your intentions, or by reading books about how to have a great marriage, or by going to church, but God set in place this idea; direction determines destination.

 

One more. As you think about your finances, maybe you want to be free from financial worry, so you’re going to take on a lot of debt. It will never happen because direction determines destination. Or I want to be free from financial worry, so I’m going to spend more than I make. Great intention, but this path will not get you there.  Or I want to be free from financial worry, so I’m going to spend my money wherever I want and not budget it. Each of these is a path and that path leads somewhere, but God’s word and practical experience says that path will not get you to that desired destination.

 

There’s a bunch more, but I think you get the point. As you think about your financial path, your marriage path, your dating path, your professional path, your entertainment path, your social path, as you think about those paths the question that you need to ask yourself is “Are the paths that you are on going to lead you to your desired destination.”

 

The reason why we are so enamored with the path that we are on is because we have such a strong emotional appeal, and it is emotional, it’s not rational. We get fixated on the immediate, so much that we don’t think about the ultimate. That’s the case with the kid in the story. And for you it might be because of the dollar sign. Gotta have this deal, Gotta have this deal, Gotta have this promotion, Gotta have this promotion. Wait just a minute, is that really going to get you to where you want to be. There’s something on the wrong path that has such huge emotional or sexual or relational appeal that it causes us to see not the path that we are on, but just a snapshot of it.

 

We see only the trees, but never the forest. It’s like a fish looking at a worm when he’s hungry. If he took his focus off the worm long enough to see the line and the fishing pole an the man sitting in the boat, he would never bite the hook, but because his focus is only on the immediate satisfaction of his hunger instead of the path that it will take him on – on the hook, into the boat, onto the stringer, under the knife, into the frying pan, into the mans mouth, into the toilet, into the ground. If the poor fish just looked up before he moved forward. If we just looked up before we moved forward, it would put us on the right path and get us headed in the right direction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Link:

 

 

v     Tell about a time when you got lost?

v     Message Summary

v     Was there anything that struck you, confused you, or that you just plain didn’t agree with? In three words, what is the principle of the path (direction determines destination)

 

v     Explain how you see the principle of the path working in your life, either for good or for evil?

v     Why is it that we tend to think of relationships or finances as multiple non-connected events, rather than a path?

v     There was a difference between Solomon’s perspective and the young man’s perspective. Often times there is a difference between God’s perspective and ours. Why is this?

v     (On the last page of Adam’s sermon there is a story about a worm. Reread or retell that story.)  How could focus have changed the worm’s direction? How does your focus change your direction?

v     Name one thing that you’re going to do differently as a result of God’s word in this area? Please let people know that it’s ok not to answer.