9-27-09 The Principle of the Path 2; Looking Ahead

Last week we begin a series called principle of the path.  Last week’s message is so foundational for everything else in this series that I really encourage you to go out to the website, or to pick up a CD on the information table, if you weren’t here last week.

 

Here’s a quick review.  We said in the principal of the path direction determines destination.  Direction, not hopes and dreams, not your prayers, not how good of a person you are, determines your destination. If you packed all your shorts and sunscreen and got on I-94 and went West, you would never get to Florida, no matter how much you pray, and no matter how much you trust God, and no matter how much you read your Bible,, because direction determines destination.

 

We know the principle of the path is true when we’re driving or when were hiking.  But in other areas of our lives, like finances, our marriages, our romance, our moral standards, our entertainment standards, our health, in every other area in life there seems to be this huge disconnect. We desire to go here, but we get on a path and go there, and when we get there, we say, “Oh God, I thought you loved me, and how did you let this happen to me, and why am I here?” And God and all your friends say, “Because that’s the path you chose,” because direction determines your destination, not your intentions.

 

So we talked a lot about that last week, and we said that there is this huge disconnect between what we do and where we think we’re going. In our culture, we hear that the path doesn’t matter, as long as your intentions are right, you’re going to somehow end up at a good place, but you don’t.

 

So, the question that I want to answer today is, “How do you know which path to be on, because nobody wants to wake up in their 30s and wish that they had started on a different path in their 20s.” Nobody wants to wake up in their 50s, and wish they’d taken a different path in their 30s. But you only get to be in your 20s once.  Nobody wants to end up in their 60’s and wish they had started down a different path when they were 30. Life is short; you don’t have any time to waste. The last thing we need to do is complicate our life by being on the wrong path and going in the wrong direction.

 

So how do you know which path to take? How do you know that marrying this girl or this guy will get you to the destination that you want to end up at? How do you know that moving in together before you get married is actually the path that you want to be on, because living together is not an event, it’s a path, and it takes you somewhere? Is that somewhere, where you want to go?

 

How do you know where your relationship with alcohol, how do you know where your relationship with drugs is going to take you where you want to be, because in your mind you have a destination that you want to end up at, but you know, that’s the path that will take you where you want to be?  How do you know where your second marriage is going to take you?

 

These are all life decisions, and they’re not isolated events, they’re a path that leads to a destination. How do you know that the way you’re handling your finances is the path that will take you to where you want to go in the future? You don’t have time to waste, because time is short, and the last thing you want to do is waste your life. You don’t want to end up at some point in your life, backtracking, because when you get lost driving, it might take a few minutes to find your way again, but when you get lost in life, you waste years.  You waste a season of your life, and you want to do that.

 

There are several ways to find the right path. I want to share one of those with you today. Here it is:

 

Proverbs 27:12 (NIV)
The prudent (wise) see danger and take refuge, but the simple (foolish) keep going and suffer for it.

I’d like us to repeat this together, because I want us to memorize this verse today, because it will help us as we seek God’s direction in our lives. Here we go. The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. (Just men, just women, left side of the room, right side of the room, not shown on the screen)

 

But here’s the deal, you’ve been with people at work, or with somebody over coffee, and people begin to tell you their story, because their life is a mess -their marriage is a mess, or finances are upside down, they have made a bad relationship choice, they made a bad career choice, they moved in and they should’ve move out – they’re telling their story, and I’ve heard this so many times, and I go home and tell their stories to my kids, and say you don’t want to be like them.  I do that, so be careful -  I don’t use your names, just your initials – just kidding, see you’ve been in this situation, and they’re telling you their story, and you’re thinking, “you should have seen that coming.” They’re telling their story, and before they get to the end of the story, you already know what’s going to happen.

 

So I always ask, “When she said that or did that, didn’t you think . . . or when they began to . . . didn’t you get suspicious . . . didn’t you see this coming? And 9 times out of 10 people say, “Well yeah, but . . .” Then I’ll ask them this question, “During this time when your life was hanging on the edge of disaster, didn’t anyone tell you – a room mate or a good friend, or a parent say anything to you about this, and about half the time they’ll say, “Well yeah”.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

 

In this verse, you have two people, you have two paths, and you have two outcomes. You have two people, two responses to the same situation -two people, two responses, and two outcomes. The prudent in the book of Proverbs is the wise person. The wise person is the one who realizes that life is connected, that there is cause and effect. There’s a relationship between yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Life is often times linear; if you’re at A and you move to B, chances are you’re going to move to C.

 

The wise person lives their life asking themselves this question, “In light of my past experiences and my future hopes and dreams, what’s the wise thing for me to do?” because the wise person understands that life is connected. The simple or naïve person believe life to be disconnected. To them, life is just one event after another, with each event being fully disconnected from every other. The naïve person believes that today is about today and tomorrow is about tomorrow and they don’t have any bearing on one another. The naïve person sees his or her life as an event. The wise person sees his or her life as a journey or a path and that the decision that he or she makes brings them closer to a destination – it moves them toward something that’s better or something that’s worse.

 

When the wise person sees danger they respond to it. They take the appropriate action to steer clear of the danger. The simple thinks to themselves, “That looks like it might be a problem.” Are you going to do anything about it? No. If you think something is wrong, you need to do something. You need to stop that. “You’re right. Yup, you’re right.” What are you going to do about it? “Nothing right now, maybe someday, but not now.” The naïve person believes that if I drive towards the wall, that when I get to the wall, I won’t hit the wall.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

 

Now none of us want to be characterized as simple and naïve. You and I don’t believe that we’re simple or naïve, but the scripture tell us that if you see something on your path that looks like trouble and others may warn you, and you may say, “yeah, I ought to quit” or “yeah I ought to stop” but the truth of the matter is that if you just keep going, the Bible calls you simple or naïve. You somehow believe that you are going to be able to break, or trick, the principle of the path.

 

Let me tell you how religious people handle this, ok? For many of us here today, you’re going to feel convicted by what I share with you next and you’re going to say, “He’s right,” but the problem is that we confuse religious conviction and religious feeling for an authentic relationship with God. Here’s how that works.

 

Today, you’re going to go home thinking, “yeah, I really should stop drinking so much” or “I really ought to stop that relationship” or “I really ought to start budgeting” or “I really ought to start tithing,” and you’re going to feel convicted and when you feel convicted you feel close to God, because you really feel like God is speaking to you, and you have this religious experience and you say to yourself “I love church,” and then you go out of here and do nothing.

 

But I can tell you, that’s not Christianity that’s religion – that’s a waste of time. Do you know how much good religious conviction does? It not only does no good, it does negative good, because you walk out saying to yourself, “Boy I really enjoyed church today, and man, was that message good. I really feel convicted.” Yeah, but what are you going to do about it? Keep going.

 

You’re simple. You’re naïve. You never miss church. You sing all the songs. You even feel emotional at times. You give money, but you keep going.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple just feel convicted. “Yeah, Mom you’re right.” “Adam, you’re right, I need to be more careful!” “I need to stop.” “I need to start . . .” They admit and they acknowledge, but they don’t do anything. They just keep going.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

 

Now, the interesting thing is that the prudent people look foolish to the simple people. They don’t wait until they get to the wall. They stop a few miles ahead. They don’t wait until they’re at the brink of disaster; they make changes before they get there. They may look a little foolish to some, but they avoid pain. They avoid lots of anxiety. They avoid unnecessary problems, because the prudent see danger and take refuge.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

 

Since these people see danger, but don’t do anything, they just keep going, they suffer for it. The crazy part of this is when these people come to me or come to you and they say, after they’ve hit the wall and are suffering, “How could God have allowed this to happen to me?” Well, because God works through principles. The principle of the path says that direction, not intention, determines destination.

 

If you jump off a building and you hit the concrete, don’t blame God, it’s the principle of gravity. That’s why we’re born short, right? It’s because when we are learning how to walk we don’t have so far to fall. You didn’t know that did you. That’s why we’re born short. When you’re older and you fall, it hurts a lot more than when you’re two. The principle of gravity is just like the principle of the path. Direction, not intention, determines destination.

 

This was written like 3000 years ago; this is not new. You should read this. It helps us determine what path to be on. The reason why the simple or naïve suffer is because there are points where there is no return. You know that in life, whether it’s finances, marriage, relationships, entertainment choices, whatever, there is a point that all of your options are bad.

 

Suddenly your life begins to unravel and you have three options and they’re all bad, and you think to yourself, “If I could back up ten years, I’d have better options. If I could back up 5 years, I could have gotten off this path with very little consequence, but there is a point if you continue down certain paths that you don’t have good options. We suffer harm because we keep going.

 

Why? Because you felt convicted, and you felt close to God, and you had a religious experience, but you didn’t do anything about it. Besides, everybody is on this path; it’s like a highway; there are lots of people on this path; we can’t all be wrong can we? And the scripture says, you will suffer harm.

 

If you’re 60 years old, that’s not the time to begin saving for retirement is it? And I don’t care how much you pray and how much you plan, you’ve missed opportunity, and you kept going. And if you’re 62 years old and you’re thinking to yourself, “I wish that I could go back” and “I should have” and “I could have” and every time you thought about backing down your lifestyle, living in a smaller house, driving a smaller car, going out to eat less, buying less things, you thought to yourself, “We really ought to” or “We really need to” but you didn’t. You didn’t disagree, but you didn’t do anything.

 

Ladies, girls, when you get pregnant is not the time to ask the question, “Do I really love this guy, and is he the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it happens all the time.  Men, guys, when you get a woman or a girl pregnant it’s not the time to evaluate whether or not you love her and are going to marry her. You’ve gone to far down the path. Now, all your options are difficult.  And you think to yourself, “I wish that I could have decided if I wanted to marry her 3, 6, 9 months ago, 3 years ago. Gosh I wish I had stopped and evaluate that back when I had some better options, but now you’re suffering. God doesn’t love you less. God couldn’t love you more, but the frustration and pain and anxiety in your life is because you violated a principle.

 

You don’t break this principle. You just break yourself upon it. You are where your path led. I know that wasn’t your intention, and I know that wasn’t your hope and dream, but you see, direction determines destination.

 

Once you’re addicted is not the time to think, “Boy I need to be more disciplined.” But you’ve gone beyond your ability to use discipline and now you’re an addict and none of your options are good. Some of you grew up and your parents were on a path that wasn’t good and they trained you to walk that same path, but if you don’t get on a different path, then you’re going to be the same kind of parent that your parent or parents were to you, because direction determines destination and you’re going the same direction as your parent or parents.

 

Once you’ve fallen in love with that woman at work is not the time to think to yourself, “I should spend less time with her” That should have happened a long time ago, because now you’re on a path and if you don’t get off it soon, all your options are going to be bad.

 

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple, the naïve, they keep going and suffer for it.

 

The two areas that this principle is most important for you and for me is in the area of our relationships and our finances. It applies to other areas, but If we could just apply this principle and begin to pray this prayer, asking God to help us to be prudent and wise and to be on the right path in these two areas, it could radically change our lives. Here’s what I have written down in my notes:

 

You never evaluate a relationship based on where it is; you always evaluate a relationship based on where it’s headed. All relationships move. They are either getting better or worse.

 

If your relationship is getting worse, then seek refuge quickly. By this I don’t mean leave. Maybe that’s a good idea if you’re dating, but if you’re married, then you need to quickly seek someone who can help you with your options, because the longer that you wait, the closer you get to the wall and worse your options get. If you’re not convicted that you’re on the right path, then get wise counsel to help you find the right path. There are two kinds of people. There are two directions to go and there are two destination in which to arrive. The two people are either heading in a good direction, which will arrive in a good destination or they are heading in a bad direction which will bring them to a bad destination. The people that end up in a bad destination will suffer greatly. Those that end up in a good destination will rejoice greatly

 

That’s why it’s important when you spouse says, “Honey, I think we should talk to someone about our marriage,” because what they’re saying is “We started at A and then we went to B and now we’re on C and I think we’re headed toward D.” They’re saying we need to do something because the wall is coming and we need to change directions or else we’re going to get to a place where all the options are bad. And you say to her, “Aw but honey, we haven’t had a argument in two days.” And she says, yeah, but the reason that we haven’t argued in two days is because you’ve been out of town the past two days.

 

One of you says, but today isn’t so bad. Today its just a little tiny, tinny bit worse than it was yesterday. That person is just looking at today, but the wise person is not looking at today, but where you’re going. The prudent see danger and they do something. The simple see danger and they keep going. Relationships are always moving. Which direction is yours moving? It’s a path and it’s going somewhere. What direction is it headed. The prudent see danger and do something. The simple just keep going.

 

This is true with finances. If I could make a wish for this congregation in regard to finances, it wouldn’t be that you give more. It would be that you would take hold of this principle.

 

The borrower is slave to the lender. That’s a path and it’s a bad one. If you are a slave to consumer debt today, you will be a bigger slave in one year, in five years, in ten years from now. You’re generous in your heart, but you can’t be generous with your finances because you’re a slave. And nobody started their career path, thinking I want so much consumer debt that I’m a slave to people I don’t even know. I can’t wait to live with no margin. I can’t wait to live in a house I can’t afford. I can’t wait to lease cars I will never own. I can’t wait to be a slave to all the people who lend me money. They own me. Nobody dreams that!

 

Your dream is to be financially free. Your dream is to have margin. Your dream is to have savings. But if you’re on a path that leverages debt to gain a more expensive lifestyle, then that road goes somewhere and it’s called slavery. You thought slavery was abolished a long time ago, but it’s just changed what it looks like. Financial slavery is a road, but the simple just keep going and going and going. “Yeah, we probably ought to downsize. Yeah, we probably ought to stop leasing. Yeah we ought to start budgeting. Yeah, we ought to sell that. Are you going to? “No”. Nobody else is, and surely we’re not all wrong, are we? The prudent see danger and they take refuge, but the simple just keep going, and they suffer for it.

 

If you decide to get serious about this principle, I’d like you to write down 4 dynamics that go with this principle. You can also go out on the web and download this message and all of these are spelled out there. Here’s the first one.

 

1. You have to do something. You have to end that relationship. You have to change how you spend money. You need to get rid of your DSL. You need to stop visiting that website. You have to move. You have to downsize. You have to . . . you fill in the blank. The prudent take action.

 

1. Sacrifice. You have to give something up. We’re not good at that. You have debt because you’re not good at giving stuff up. Not only do we not sacrifice, but we go the other way. We accumulate things we don’t need. If you apply this principle, you’re going to have to sacrifice something – maybe relationally. You may have to sacrifice lifestyle. You may have to sacrifice some big boys toys, your cell phone, or your 100 or 500 TV stations. The prudent see danger and they must be willing to give up some things in order to get to a better place and this is why the simple keep going; it’s because we don’t like to sacrifice. WE like to be comfortable and it’s more comfortable today to stay where I’m at, even though I’m moving toward a brick wall day by day. Someday, when you hit the brick wall, it won’t be more comfortable and you’ll wish that you had made the sacrifice sooner, but you didn’t. To be prudent requires sacrifice.

 

1. Embarrassment. This is an embarrassing thing to do, you know why? Because many of those that know you will not understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. You’re looking down the road and you see the wall and you’re acting as if that wall is here, today, and you’re responding to it, but you’re friends are only looking at today. They don’t see the wall, or if they do, they’re being simple and they’re ignoring it. They are choosing to look at their life one day at a time, instead of looking down the path. The reason why the simple are naïve is because they are not willing to face a bit of embarrassment now, instead of having a ton of embarrassment later.

 

1. Relief. The day is coming when you will breath a sigh of relief. You will look back to this day, as the day when you got off this path that was going to lead to destruction in some area in your life. And a year from now, two years from now, three years from now, you’ll look back and breath a sigh of relief, because you will see the wall that you avoided. And you’ll maybe ask yourself “What if I hadn’t ended that relationship? What if I hadn’t made those financial decisions? You’ll look back and you’ll breath a sigh of relief.

 

Action, sacrifice, embarrassment, and then you’ll breath a sigh of relief. Or . . . in the short term it’s much easier just to keep going. The simple keep going and they suffer for it. The prudent person sees danger and takes refuge.

 

Loving God with all that we are and following him day by day is the way that we move closer to who we were created to be and the way that we bring a bit more of up there down here. Christianity is not about going to heaven some day when we die. It is about practicing for eternity. It’s about practicing today, so that when we get to heaven it will be something that we’ll already know to be home.

 

Direction determines destination. Is that (point toward Love God and Love Neighbor banner) your direction, because if it is, then that will be your destination? Direction determines destination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Link:

 

What is your favorite color? Name something that you like that color on? For instance, if your favorite color were red, would you like the sky or the water to be red – probably not?

 

Was there anything in Sunday’s message that struck you, confused you or that you completely disagreed with?

 

Most people understand the principle that direction determines destination when it comes to geography, but when it comes to our finances and relationships there is often times a big disconnect. Why do you think this is?

 

Prior to this message, did you think of yourself as simple, foolish, or naïve? Do you think differently now? Why do you think your view of your life contrasts so deeply with that of the Bible?

 

Have you gone down the wrong path so far that you hit a wall and suffered? Explain.

 

 

What is the mission and vision of New Community? What does that mean to you? Why is that important for your life? Why is the mission and vision important for our community? Why is our mission and vision so important in regard to the principle of the path?